I think it is about time there be a list created to remind all of the people who are either married or dating somebody, that there are still single people out in this wonderful world. These will be rules to follow while around your single friends. Some of them may also apply to setting up your friends. (As well intentioned as you may be, don't hold your friend accountable went it does not work out)
1. Don't set up your friend with another acquaintance just because they are both single. (Remember back when you were single, not every single person was your soul mate)
2. Try to do some actual leg work. Find out if the person you are setting your friend is dating somebody at the moment. Sounds simple, but you would be suprised how often this happens.
3. When out with your significant other and single friend, do not spend the entire evening making out and being touchy-feely with your significant other. This will leave your single friend to squirm in his/her chair and look around at the surroundings. It's like the sun - you never look directly at it. You have plenty of time without your single friend for foreplay, so save it for later. Plus nobody likes Public Displays of Affection (PDA's)
4. If you invite your single friend out for dinner, icecream, or hot chocolate, do not suggest that they could "bring someone along". Believe me, if they had someone to bring along, they would. Contrary to popular coupled belief, not all single people have a hoard of admirers to choose from at all times.
5. Talk to your friend about what they look for in a significant other. Remember when you were dating you had things you looked for chances are your friend does too. And this may shock you, but they probably know what they are looking for better then you know what they are looking for.
6. Do not ask your single friend for a girl's (or guy's) night out and then spend the whole evening talking about how you miss your significan other. This will get you dirty looks, and quite possibly a black eye by the end of the night. Your single friend knows they can't live up to how wonderful your significant other is, but they don't need to be constantly reminded of that fact.
7. Remember that it is possible to go out with out your significant other. Yes it may seem untrue but there was a time that you could go out alone. If your significant other does not want to go to a party, that does not mean you have to make up an excuse not to go.
8. Just as important as not performing PDA in public don't fight around your single friends. Nothing is more uncomfortable for everybody involved then to watch a couple argue about what pizza crust they should order.
9. When setting up your friends, take some time and think about if things would really work between the two. Does it really make sense to line somebody up with somebody that they have nothing in common with.
10. Don't set unrealistic expectaions for your friend. Don't tell them this is the person they are going to marry. It is not fair to them, and its not fair to the person you are setting them up with.
So there you have the 10 rules of being marriend and interacting your with your single friends. Probably the most important thing to remeber is that at one point you were single to. It is amazing how quick married people forget this. Just remember what would I be comfortable with if I was single.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
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2 comments:
wow... it is about time someone gave me some guidelines. I was feeling so confused about how I should act... I nearly just avoided calling my single friends all together to avoid any of this.
you are a friendship saver, Jon, thanks.
I know that you weren't talking about me. I have been pondering the rules since you posted them and have decided that I am the exception to every single rule. You clearly weren't talking to me since I have never set you up on a bad blind date. I just don't have it in me.
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