Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Have you ever met a guy, and called him a tool? Maybe he was a tool, or maybe he wasn't. This guy may have just exhibited certain qualities of a tool but was not a fool blown tool.

There are many different definitions of a tool. Let’s look at a few of them.

Dictionary.com

1.anything used as a means of accomplishing a task or purpose.

2. According to Wikipedia, the slang usage of the word tool became popular in the 1990's. Its usage even seeped into late night television. In one particular skit, Jimmy Fallon dressed up as Carson Daly, a popular MTV VJ in the late '90s, and referred to himself as being a "massive tool."
A tool can also be someone who just seems lame or is completely unoriginal. They are so used to conforming that they don't seem like they can think for themselves or think independently from what's popular.
Tools have also been accused of trying too hard--expelling way too much effort in an attempt to fit in or join the mainstream or non-mainstream (whichever the case may be). Thus, sometimes also being labeled a wannabe or poser
Common derivatives of the word tool are: toolbox (generally meaning that this person is an extreme tool) or toolish (which means that someone is acting like a tool or in a tool-like manner).

The Official Checklist to determine if you are a Tool or not a Tool.


The following checklist will help you determine if you are a Tool or not a Tool. Each question can be answered Yes, Sometimes, or Never. If you answer yes, you get 2 points if you answer sometimes you get 1 point and never 0 points.

1. Have you ever popped your collar? Yes, Sometimes, or Never.

2. Do you still wear a Lance Armstrong Band?

3. Do you spend more time doing your hair in the morning then you do in the shower?

4. Do you buy designer T-Shirts that cost over $50? For additional points, does your designer shirt have skulls or angels on them?

5. Do you view every other guy as competition? Example, you go to a party and see every guy has competition. IE, you see a guy talking to a girl and you go over there and start talking to the same girl, and start one upping the guy.

6. When you wear a polo shirt is it usually a size too small?

7. Do you spend more than 30 minutes doing your hair in the morning or for a date?

8. Do you ward off animals with scent of your Cologne?

9. Do you still wear pucca shell necklace?

10. Do your brand new jeans have more holes then Swiss cheese?

11. Do your shoes resemble the beak of a bird?

12. Do you pretend to be a soccer fan?

13. Do you own a tanning pass? Give yourself 3 points for yes and 2 points if you go tanning more than 2 times a month.

14. Do you wear white sunglasses?

15. When going out for a ride on your motorcycle do you park it on the sidewalk, in front of the building so you don't have to walk as far (or so you can show off your bike)?

16. Do you make sure people can see your barbed wire tattoo on your bicep?

17. Do you wear multiple polo shirts at the same time? Add four points for each shirt you wear and two points for each popped collar.

Now adding up the points
If you scored 24-34 you are a tool.
If you scored 17-24, you are exhibiting some tool like qualities
If you scored 8-16, not too much of a tool
If you scored 0-7, you are not a tool just you.

2 comments:

Alex said...

I must admit, this is a very good diagnostic test for tools. I am somewhat sad that I scored an official 0. By the way, yesterday I put away a stray shopping cart.

katy said...

Jon oh Jon that was funny. I love that I can now officially confirm that my older brother is a tool. THANKS! :)